Over the past few months I have been biting my nails to the quick because of one thing: Grad School. I began with a list of fifteen schools I was going to apply to. I began with organization and happiness. This is certainly different than the sad, beaten, fried lump my brain has become because of the process. I started out with excitement!
I am going to graduate school. Nothing can stop me. I attended inspirational speakers. I carefully filed away parts of the applications in neatly labeled folders by school. Now I’m just tired and I hope I actually get into at least one. What happened?
Somewhere in this journey I got sick of the paperwork. I got sick of keeping in touch with various professors at various schools. I was tired of looking up program specifics. My eyes tired from the late nights typing up supplementary material. I grew nauseous waiting for an e-mail back, a phone call. I ended up only applying to three schools and four programs.
Now it’s over with. I check my e-mail every morning waiting to hear back from any of the schools. I nervously wonder if my CV was complete enough. What if they don’t like me? Are my GRE scores actually good or just okay? Was my letter of intent to cliché? The waiting game sucks. Maybe I should have put more time into the process. Maybe I should have started earlier. Staying positive through this has been one of the most challenging things to date.