My weekend in a nutshell consisted of work. Drinking. And church.
Yes this is a very strange combination.
I worked 3-9 on Friday night and let me tell you… I was ready to HAVE SOME FUN after getting off. Working in a group home causes your vices to extend their slimy tentacles into your life. So Friday is really just a very hazy blur of lime vodka and dancing. I also remember telling some girl I liked her bull-nose ring even though I thought it was the ugliest thing I’d ever seen. (SORRY IF YOU’RE READING THIS AND THAT WAS YOU)
I woke up staring at the clock (which said 8 a.m.) and trying to brush away the cobwebs from my mind. And eyes. LET ME TELL YOU A LIFE LESSON… NO MATTER HOW DRUNK YOU ARE PLZZZZ DON’T SLEEP IN YOUR CONTACTS. It was gross. I decided it was not time to get up so I went back to bed.
Then I woke up at 2:00 pm. Still puking. Still had a heartbeat in my head. And my car was missing. AND I WORKED AT 3:00.
Found car. Put puke hair in a bun. Put on makeup. LOTS OF MAKEUP. Drove to work. It was possibly the worst shift of my life. But I pretended to be the happiest most enthusiastic person in the world. I wiped butts, cooked dinner, and washed bedding with ambition. (NOT IN THAT ORDER THOUGH)
I did not go out on Saturday night. I stayed in my house and watched Kung Fury with my roommate that has a very strange taste in Netflix. KUNG FURY THOUGH. WATCH IT. (It has Nazis, Vikings, Thor, and a Triceracop.) What’s not to like?!
SUNDAY (TODAY) – I went to church. I always feel bad about drinking so much on Fridays when I go to church on Sundays. CHURCH WAS SO GOOD. I swear our pastors sermons just keep getting better. Maybe I should start doing that devotional that Grandma gave me… Well, I work another 3-9 and it’s 2:30 right now. YOU MAY GO BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING BEFORE YOU STARTED READING THIS BLOG POST. THANK YOU ALL.